Review: An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir by Ariel Leve

4 stars for An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir by Ariel Leve.

Reading this book feels like reading a book of revelations. It is a shout-out to the world, to seek understanding both within and without, for the way the author is wired. Certainly, author Ariel Leve has a most unusual childhood, unusual being the understatement. It is hard to fathom how she survives the years to adulthood the way she has had.

This memoir also makes me think about my relationship with my own mother. I see parallels in the behaviour of my mother and that of the author's. They cannot help themselves. Or can they? I can only tell myself that we don't get to choose our parents and parents don't get to choose their children. But we do get to choose how hard we are willing to work to make the best of what we are given.

This book reminds us that a house is not a home. And a family is not everything, mettā (loving-kindness) is. Sometimes, most times, to be happy is to be simple and content. And peace will follow naturally.

Review: Places I Stopped on the Way Home: A Memoir of Chaos and Grace by Meg Fee

3 stars for Places I Stopped on the Way Home: A Memoir of Chaos and Grace by Meg Fee.

I am not sure what to make of this memoir. It is a book I enjoy reading but do not enjoy in it. Call me anything but shallow, I feel that the author should have loved herself more, treat herself with more kindness and respect. She deserves better. But then, these are all in the past. And so, it is good to know that she knows to keep going.

This book is a collection of essays that covers ten years of the author's living in New York, from when she was accepted to Juilliard at the age of eighteen. It is a brutally honest storytelling, sad and bittersweet yet flowing with youthful enthusiasm and hope. It records the author's attempt to find happiness and meaning in life. Her constant search for answers reveals a life laced with more pessimism than not, more sadness than happiness, more grief than joy, more fear than security, more chaos than balance, more questions than answers. Basically, the perspectives project a depressing life filled with heartaches and dripping with loneliness.

I have never felt more alive reading a memoir about friendship and love, heartbreak and loneliness, fear and insecurity, and failure and suffering, all in the promise of a yet to be. Sad as it is, however, there are times I cannot understand why the author chooses to subject herself to such misery. It is good that the author faces up to it eventually and learns to self-love.

This book is a reminder to self-love, to live in the present, to live life to the fullest no matter where we are and to treasure what we have. Home is not a place. Home is where the heart is.

Crochet: Shawl: Wrap Me in Ice-cream Shawl (v2)

I cannot tell you how much a relief it is the moment I made up my mind to continue with the second skein of this Lion Brand Yarns with colours that remind me of my favourite childhood ice-cream - Walls Paddle Pop rainbow swirl ice-Cream.

Stitch by stitch, row by row, Wrap Me in Ice-cream shawl version 2 is finally done. I have used 2 skeins of Lion Brand Yarns: Mandala, Thunderbird [525-207] which is a total of 1080m. I am extremely pleased with the end product. It is perfect.

In case you are wondering what I am talking about, here is my earlier post.

Review: The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks

3 stars for The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks.

I am not much of a reader of self-help books. It is only in recent few years that I start reading this genre. I may not have read that many self-help books but I know it when I come across one that is like a spark to my heart, a light bulb clicking on and illuminating the truth; the truths of life, something I already know all along and then seeing them put in words, elevate it to a different level. What I want to say is, I don't have this feeling with this book. It is difficult to enjoy reading The Second Mountain, least of all like it.

Having read the inspiring introduction, I thought I will be equally blown away by the rest of the book. But I am sorely disappointed. I don't usually enjoy reading a book's introduction but I always read it. Ironically, this book's introduction is one of the best I have ever read. Among the topics covered, the author talks about happiness and joy and the difference between them. He shares the reason behind the birth of this book. It reveals the author's vulnerability and perhaps because of it, feels most personal and relatable. Whereas, the rest of his book feels more like a collection of quotes where he takes the curriculum of other people's knowledge and passes it along. The only impressive thing out of it is that it goes to know how widely read the author is.

Having said the above, don't get me wrong. I do not mean to say this self-help book is no good. It is just the way the content is being delivered to the reader that does not sit so well with me. I do not doubt the sincerity of the author, but I also cannot remember much of what I have read and learned from him at the end of his book. There are simply information overload from his quotes and stories of others which come across as directionless at times. The wisdom presented is generalised at best. Still, I believe there are others who will benefit - much more than me - from this book. Ultimately, this is a book about finding meaning and purpose in life through relationships and commitments (after worldly success has failed to fulfill).

If you are like me, someone who does not like that a book is excessively filled with writings put together with stories and parables and quotes from other people, you can consider simply reading the introduction and the conclusion chapter on The Relationalist Manifesto. It provides a good summary of the case against hyper-individualism of the current moment, and for relationalism, which the author believes, is a better way to live.

Review: 16 Swipes: No Breakfast by Mark Powell

5 stars for 16 Swipes: No Breakfast by Mark Powell.

End December 2020. I was scanning the library shelves for books to kick-start the new year with and my eyes settled on 16 Swipes. It is a book that is most unlike me to read, least of all as first book of the year. But my interest got piqued as I flipped through the book and found that it is written by a British-born novelist currently residing in Singapore. And not just a writer, but also a playwright and screenwriter. Now I am truly curious. What will this British-born author say about Singapore and its people? Then I thought to myself "Hey, why not? I should try something different to start off the new year with, for a change." With that in mind, I have this book borrowed and tucked in my bag, ready to go on a journey of discovery once I am comfortably settled back home.

16 Swipes: No Breakfast is an interesting, relaxing read, entertaining and hilarious even, unfortunately at the expense of the writer. He shares his most memorable Tinder dates, 16 of them, hence the title 16 Swipes. Each swipe is a Tinder adventure that while short, provides just enough details and explanations on why that date falls through and his search for a soulmate continues. Not to be a spoiler but just so you know, not all the author's swipes are negative and end badly. Sometimes the ladies he meets become his good friends. And yes, he does get lucky in one of his matched swipes and meets someone magical.

Since this is a book on Tinder and meeting people, it is quite natural that the author provides tips on dating. Some of his tips may seem like he is stating the obvious, but well, you will be surprised at how some of the ladies he has the fortune or misfortune to match up with are so thoughtless and self-centered that the author has to state the obvious under his tip #6: Be polite and respect the other party's time. Plan ahead to reach your destination on time. This respect goes a long way to make a positive first impression.

As I read on, I cannot help but think that perhaps there is something not quite there with those who register with this online dating app. The author certainly has many strange encounters, some of which are so weird to the extent of comical to leave a lasting impression on him, and even me the reader. Perhaps because of their shortcomings such as body odour, bad breath, blatant disregard for other people's time, tendency to saying negative things about former partners, etc, men and women alike have need of this Tinder app for matchmaking. Then again, based on what I can glean of the author's character from the sharing of his personal Tinder experiences, he comes across as perfectly normal, genuine and thoughtful with a good sense of humour and most notably, he is one of the old school of English gentlemen. So, I think it all boils down to luck and being in the right place at the right time with the right swipe, of course.

In any case, there are two sides to every coin. This is, after all, only one side of the story, the version as shared from the eyes of a guy who enters the dating scene via the world of online dating. Who knows? If each of the sixteen account is told from the perspective of the fair lady, it may be a different story altogether. This brings me to say that it is good to know the author is now working on a sequel, 16 Swipes: The Other Perspective. If the sequel is about what I think it is, then aha, the author has read my mind, in advance. I certainly look forward to what the author has to share in his follow-up to No Breakfast.

I have chosen to kick start Year 2021 with a book that is most unlike me to do so. No regrets there as I have an enjoyable time swiping, not on my mobile Tinder app though but the dead tree version of a book. Having swipe the page to the end of the book, I count my blessings. I am thankful that I have no need for Tinder or any other similar dating apps for that mater. I know how tiring it can be to get to know people, all in the hope of searching for The One. If the chanced relationship works out well, hurray. But if it doesn't, one has to start the draining cycle of finding, introducing, texting, meeting and familiarising all over again. To that, I am happy for author Mark Powell for he is done with swiping. I wish him well and hurray for his many breakfasts with that someone special.

As for me, I hope this book is a good start to a relaxing year with great, enjoyable reads.