Review: The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell

4 stars for The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell.

It has taken me long enough to say this - I finish reading my first book of the year.

2023 was a difficult year. I am still trying to find back pieces of myself. It is not easy, but it helps with time. It is getting better now but I think it will be a long time before I can find back the balance that used to give me the strength and motivation to read. And I suspect, there may be a part of me, that is lost forever. Gone with the wind. I might never get it back.

I bought this book from a secondhand bookstore in Edinburgh, Scotland last November. I knew this book was meant for me the moment I entered Main Point Books, located just a stone's throw from Edinburgh Books, another secondhand bookstore and a big one too. This book was placed on top of a low shelf, obvious to anyone walking in. I was surprised that no one else had taken a fancy to it as the book is in an amazingly good condition considering a secondhand. So, I like to think it is meant for me as I have had this book on my reading list since August 2019.

The Diary of a Bookseller is the real life account of a year in the life of Shaun Bythell, owner and manager of a secondhand bookstore called The Book Shop, in a quaint Scottish town - Wigtown. He takes us with him on buying trips to old estates, auction houses and books deals. We also get to see the down side on the business of secondhand book trade such as internet downtime and grappling with a poor system that goes inoperable like a quarter of the time. I have been curious about this but the author never truly reveals about his stock acquiring - what factors determine the books he buys and the amount he offers to book sellers. He put it down simply as having no rules and that he makes his own. So, I gather it is all about experience and gut feel.

One thing that I certainly have not expected about secondhand book trade is the amount of time spent on the road - as many as thirteen hours of driving - to meet with booksellers. That and the amount of time and energy spent on carrying and moving boxes of book collections. To quote "... books dealers spend a good deal of time lifting boxes of books in and out of vehicles and off the floor in uncomfortable, awkward spaces. I calculated that I lift about fifteen tons of books every year, and those fifteen tons will be moved a minimum of three times."

This memoir is not just about the book deal business and interaction with customers, readers are also offered snippets of the author's life such as his hill-walking, sailing and mountain-biking trips with close friend Callum or his love for fishing. Though lighthearted and humorous, the book touches on a topic that I have never really given much consideration before, and that is, what happens to the books we own when we die. Some of the stories the author shares are sad in the sense that "One man's treasure is another man's trash". When the owner passed on, the books are also passed on as family members do not want to keep them.

I try listing down the books mentioned in this book to the best of my ability, but there are some, which I may have missed out or deliberately omitted due to one reason or another.

Bookshop Memories by George Orwell (essay)
Black Books by Dylan Moran (sitcom)
Three Fevers by Leo Walmsley (thriller fiction)
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon (history non-fiction)
Keep The Aspidistra Flying by George Orwell (literary fiction)
Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops by Jen Campbell (non fiction)
The Bankrupt Bookseller Speaks Again by William Young Darling (non fiction)
Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? by Leszek Kolakowski (Philosophy non fiction)
On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin (scientific non fiction)
Gay Agony by H. A. Manhood
Three Things You Need to Know About Rockets: A Real-Life Scottish Fairy Tale by Jessica A. Fox
Talk Dirty Yiddish: Beyond Drek: the Curses, Slang, and Street Lingo You Need to Know When You Speak Yiddish by Ilene Schneider (language non fiction)
Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich by James Yannes (historical non fiction)
Pebble Mill Good Meat Guide by Ken Hutchings (non fiction)
Other passports by Clive James (poetry)
Prospero's Cell by Lawrence Durrell (autobiography non fiction)
Sartre: Romantic Rationalist by Iris Murdoch (non fiction)
A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute Norway (romance fiction)
100+ Principles of Genetics by Anthony J.F. Griffiths and Joan McPherson (non fiction)
The Ascent of Rum Doodle by William Ernest Bowman (humor fiction)
Any Human Heart by William Boyd (literary fiction)*
Waverley by Sir Walter Scott (historical fiction)
Scott-Land: The Man Who Invented a Nation by Stuart Kelly (biography non fiction)
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol (literary fiction)
A Book of Silence by Sara Maitland (autobiography non fiction)
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell (science fiction)
Orient Express: A Personal Journey by Ivan Fallon and James Sherwood (autobiography non fiction)
The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg (mystery fiction)
The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne (children's fiction)
The Complete Guide to Starting and Running a Bookshopby Malcolm Gibson (reference non fiction)
The Hobbit by John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (fantasy fiction)
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (literary fiction)
Sexing Day-Old Chicks by William Percy Blount (reference non fiction)
Antiquities of Scotland by Francis Grose (historical non fiction)
Tam O 'Shanter by Robert Burns (poetry)
The First Statistical Account of Scotland by Sir John Sinclair (reference non fiction)
Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect (commonly known as the Kilmarnock Edition) by Robert Burns (poetry)
On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection by Charles Darwin (philosophy non fiction)
An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith (philosophy nonfiction)
Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence (romance fiction)
Ulysses by James Joyce (literary fiction)
Where No Man Cries by Emma Blair (literary fiction)
Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar by Simon Sebag Montefiore (biography non fiction)
Vamping Made Easy - For All Who Wish to Play by Julius Berne (music non fiction)
The Bookshop Book by Jen Campbell (humor non fiction)
Ethics by Baruch Spinoza (philosophy non fiction)
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson (historical fiction)
The Places in Between by Rory Stewart (memoir non fiction)
Angry White Pyjamas by Robert Twigger (memoir non fiction)
A History of Orgies by Burgo Partridge (history non fiction)
Laughter: A Scientific Investigation by Robert R. Provine (psychology non fiction)
The dieter's guide to weight loss during sex by Richard Smith (humor non fiction)
The Busconductor Hines by James Kelman (general fiction)
Feersum Endjinn by Iain M. Banks (science fiction)
The Third Policeman by Flann O'Brien (literary fiction)
The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio (historical fiction, short stories)
A Gambling Man: Charles II and the Restoration by Jenny Uglow (biography non fiction)
The Observer's book of Observer's books by Peter Marren (reference non fiction)
E. D. Morel, the Man and His Work by Seymour Cocks (biography non fiction)
The Surnames of Scotland by George F. Black (history non fiction)
The Kilmarnock Edition by Robert Burns (poetry)
The Diary of Samuel Pepys by Samuel Pepys (memoir non fiction)
The Book of Mormon by Joseph Smith Jr. (religion non fiction)
The Whisky Distilleries of the United Kingdom by Alfred Barnard (historical non fiction)
Whereabouts: Notes on Being a Foreigner by Alastair Reid (autobiography non fiction)
A Tour of Scotland in 1769 by Thomas Pennant (travel non fiction)
A Description of the Western Islands of Scotland by Martin Martin (travel non fiction)
A Tour Through the Whole Island of Great Britain by Daniel Defoe (travel non fiction)
Observations On a Tour Through the Highlands and Part of the Western Isles of Scotland by Thomas Garnett (travel non fiction)
A Journey from Edinburgh through Parts of North Britain by Alexander Campbell (travel non fiction)
The Winding Stair and Other Poems by William Butler Yeats (poetry)
The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham (science fiction)
The House of Elrig by Gavin Maxwell (memoir non fiction)
The Railway Man: A POW's Searing Account of War, Brutality and Forgiveness by Eric Lomax (autobiography non fiction)
The Intimate thoughts of John Baxter, Bookseller by Augustus Muir (books & bookstores fiction)
In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin (travel non fiction)
The Bankrupt Bookseller by William Y. Darling (general fiction)
A Guide to the Orthodox Jewish Way of Life for Healthcare Professionals by Joseph Spitzer (non fiction)
Experiences of a Railway Guard: Thrilling stories of the rail by James Ferguson (non fiction)
Wigtown Ploughman: Part of His Life by John McNeillie (general fiction)
The Colliery Fireman's Pocket Book by Thomas Bryson (non fiction)
Seven Pillars of Wisdom by Thomas Edward Lawrence (autobiography non fiction)
Eleanor of Aquitaine by Alison Weir (biography non fiction)
The Reforming of Dangerous and Useless Horses by Mike Rimington (non fiction)
Sewage Disposal from Isolated Buildings by G. M. Flood (non fiction)
Atomic Structure and Chemical Bonding by J. G. Dawber and A. T. Moore (non fiction)
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (literary fiction)
Farthest North by Fridtjof Nansen (memoir non fiction)
The Worst Journey in the World by Apsley Cherry-Garrard (memoir non fiction)
South with Scott by Edward R.G.R. Evans (history non fiction)
South: The Story of Shackleton's Last Expedition 1914-1917 by Ernest Shackleton (memoir non fiction)
The Heart of the Antarctic: The Farthest South Expedition 1907-1909 by Ernest Shackleton (memoir non fiction)
He Was Born Gay: a Romance in Three Acts by Emlyn Williams (play)
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes (literary fiction)
The Odyssey by Homer (poetry)
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (literary fiction)
Pomfret Towers by Angela Thirkell (historical fiction)
Doctor No by Ian Fleming (thriller fiction)
Martialis by Martial (poetry)
Henry: Virtuous Prince by David Starkey (biography non fiction)
The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells (science fiction)
Galloway Gossip Sixty Years Ago by Robert de Bruce Trotter (reference non fiction)
Working With Depressed Women: A Feminist Approach by Alison Corob (reference non fiction)
Daniel Deronda by George Eliot (literary fiction)
Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James (romance fiction)
Incontinence by Susan Hahn (poetry)
And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave (literary fiction)
Scotland's Lost Gardens: From the Garden of Eden to the Stewart Palaces by Marilyn Brown (non fiction)
Highways and Byways in the West Highlands by Seton Gordon (non fiction)
The collected poems of Kathleen Raine by Kathleen Raine (poetry)
Ring of Bright Water by Gavin Maxwell (autobiography non fiction)
Red Nile: A Biography of the World's Greatest River by Robert Twigger (biography non fiction)
Robin Ince's Bad Book Club: One Man's Quest to Uncover the Books that Time Forgot by Robin Ince (humor non fiction)
Araki: Tokyo Lucky Hole by Akira Suei and Nobuyoshi Araki (art and photography non fiction)
Scholar-gipsies by John Buchan (essays non fiction)
A Royal Passion: The Turbulent Marriage of Charles I and Henrietta Maria by Katie Whitaker (history non fiction)
The House of Elrig by Gavin Maxwell (autobiography non fiction)
The Tinkler-Gypsies of Galloway by Andrew McCormick (history non fiction)
An open letter by Seamus Heaney (poetry)
The Penguin Book of Contemporary British Poetry by Blake Morrison and Andrew Motion (poetry)
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson (historical fiction)
Once a Customer Always a Customer: How to Deliver Customer Service that Creates Customers for Life by Chris Daffy (reference non fiction)
Biggles Takes It Rough by W. E. Johns (thriller fiction)
Alien Sex: The Body and Desire in Cinema and Theology by Gerard Loughlin (non fiction)
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (literary fiction)
Lord of the Flies by William Golding (young adult fiction)
The Meaning of Liff by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd (reference non fiction)
King Charles II by Antonia Fraser (biography non fiction)
The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot (historical fiction)
The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling by Henry Fielding (historical fiction)
Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell (biography non fiction)
H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald (memoir non fiction)
Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford (literary fiction)
Ian Niall: Part of His Life by Andrew McNeillie (biography non fiction)
Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy (historical fiction)
Highways and Byways in Galloway and Carrick by Charles Hill Dick (non fiction)
Eyeless in Gaza by Aldous Huxley (literary fiction)
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger (literary fiction)
Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh (literary fiction)
Blindness by José Saramago (literary fiction)
Pereira Maintains by Antonio Tabucchi (literary fiction)
The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg (mystery fiction)
A Toast Fag by Harold Avery (children's fiction)
The Restraint of Beasts by Magnus Mills (literary fiction)
A Young Man's Passage by Julian Clary (autobiography non fiction)
Donald McLeod's Gloomy memories in the Highlands of Scotland by Donald McLeod (history non fiction)
A Drug-taker's Notes by Richard Heron Ward (non fiction)
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler (autobiography non fiction)
The Satyricon by Petronius (literary fiction)
The Flag in the Wind by John MacCormick (non fiction)
Cuckoo Problems by E. C. Stuart Baker (non fiction)
The Temple of Flora by Robert John Thornton (biography non fiction)
The Birds of America by John James Audubon (biography non fiction)
The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg (mystery fiction)
The Universal Singular: The Autobiography of Pierre Emmanuel by Pierre Emmanuel (autobiography non fiction)
Chattering: Stories by Louise Stern (short stories, fiction)
Georgian London: Into the Streets by Lucy Inglis (reference, non fiction)
British Trees: a Guide for Everyman by Miles Hadfield (reference non fiction)
The Cone Gatherers by Robin Jenkins (literary fiction)
The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky (historical fiction)
The Princes in the Tower by Alison Weir (biography non fiction)

Based on all the books mentioned in this book, I cannot help but feel that the world of books is deep and vast. There are so many genres and subgenres of fiction and non fiction out there. And what I have been exposed to so far is just a tiny fraction.

Besides books, this book also mentioned a book club. So curious am I that I actually did a Facebook search for this Random Book Club. And I dropped them a message asking if overseas people can join and how to go about making payment for the yearly subscription fee of GBP59. Sadly, to date, I still have not received a reply. I also checked out the website of The Bookshop at www.the-bookshop.com. Maybe, one day, I may order book(s) from them.

This is a book for all booklovers, and especially booklovers who wish to work in a bookstore.

Review: Night SparkNotes Literature Guide (Volume 48) (SparkNotes Literature Guide Series) by SparkNotes and Elie Wiesel

4 stars for Night SparkNotes Literature Guide (Volume 48) (SparkNotes Literature Guide Series) by SparkNotes and Elie Wiesel.

Having graduated from school, it never once crosses my mind that one day, I will of my own accord, read a literature study guide again. But after reading Night, I find myself wanting to learn more about this historical event that rock the world, one that resulted in the greatest act of genocide known to mankind. And so, instead of regarding Night as one among many that I read for pleasure and enjoyment, I want to approach Night as a work of literature. I hope Night SparkNotes will allow me to see more, to see beyond what I have managed to glean by myself in my reading of Night.

Just as Wikipedia is highly consulted for general information, SparkNotes is highly regarded as one of the most helpful study guides to Literature, Math, Science and more. Many students regard SparkNotes as a good resource to turn to because it not only offers clear and concise explanations, it also provides important information for writing papers and studying for tests. Since Night is now one of the most widely read and taught accounts of the Holocaust, it does not surprise me that Night SparkNotes is readily available. In fact, I will be taken aback if the reverse is true.

Night SparkNotes starts off by examining the various literary devices that Night's author uses to make his story effective. Two that stand out well enough for me to remember even after I finish reading SparkNotes is the explanations given for author Wiesel's use of a boy named Eliezer as his stand-in and representative throughout the book and his choice to change some of the minor details in the story as opposed to what had actually happened.

For those who have already read Night, you will have known that it is a story that is narrated from the limited first person perspective, with no account of events that take place outside the narrator's direct observation, thus giving readers a deeply personal impression of the horrors of the Holocaust. Understanding the why and the how by which the author makes his personal story effective in its intended delivery is paramount because the book was written not only to document historical truths but also emotional truth as experienced by Wiesel himself.

Though SparkNotes views Night as neither a record of facts nor an impartial document, it refers to Night as a memoir, as the writing is a mixture of testimony and emotional truth telling. Taking the stand that Night is the author's attempt to recreate thoughts, feelings and experiences as a teenage prisoner in the concentration camps, SparkNotes analyses the major characters and explores the major themes in the book.

SparkNotes gives a concise summary of Night, a good explanation of the important quotations in the book and teaches the reader the importance of breaking a work of literature down into smaller parts and examining how those parts - plot, characters, setting, tone, narrator, themes and imagery- work, both individually and collectively, for literary analysis. It also provides a step-by-step guide to writing a well-constructed literary essay and even offers a list of suggested essay topics. The study guide finally concludes with an example of a A+ student essay.

All in all, Night SparkNotes is a handy literature guide. Viewed simply, it acts as a supplement to existing text or even like a friend explaining a particular chapter of the book. Though I am reading it to further my interest and not for purpose of studying for test or examination, I have benefited greatly in my understanding of Night through the interpretation and analysis of SparkNotes. With that, I can understand how useful this study guide can be for students taking Night as part of their school curriculum.

Review: Night (Night Trilogy #1) by Elie Wiesel

5 stars for Night (Night Trilogy book 1) by Elie Wiesel.

I have always thought Night is a non fiction, a wartime memoir written by Elie Wiesel, that is until I search the genre for this book as confirmation for purpose of labelling my review. Some sites list it as a novel while Wikipedia says "it remains unclear how much of Night is memoir". It seems strange to me that there can be much controversy as to whether Night is fiction or non fiction. After all, the author himself said in interviews that the book is factual and is never portrayed as a novel. Yet some scholars who studied holocaust memoirs have raised questions about how much of the book can be verified.

Well, in any case, both Barnes & Noble.com and Amazon.com have made changes to certify Night as non fiction (way back in 2006). The former has removed the book from its fiction list, while the latter has changed the categorization of the new edition of Night and revised the editorial description of a previous text edition to make clear that it considers the book a memoir, not a novel.

For me, having read Night, I regard it as a memoir, one with a trauma narrative that is true in its call to readers to remember the Holocaust and the millions of Jews who died, to learn from those who survived, and most importantly, never to allow such an event to happen again.

Elie Wiesel wrote the book because he believed it is "his duty to bear witness for the dead and for the living". And true enough, Night preserves the lives of the dead as a constant reminder to the living of what was suffered and lost and could go through again if the memories are not etched in ink and the past is allowed to be forgotten. Taken verbatim from the preface to the new translation, this is what Elie Wiesel wrote "For the survivor who chooses to testify, it is clear: his duty is to bear witness for the dead and for the living. He has no right to deprive future generations of a past that belongs to our collective memory. To forget would be not only dangerous but offensive; to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time."

In the opening of the very same preface, Elie Wiesel says it all, that Night is the foundation of all his literary works, without which the rest cannot be fully apprehended. To quote "If in my lifetime I was to write only one book, this would be the one. Just as the past lingers in the present, all my writings after Night, including those that deal with biblical, Talmudic, or Hasidic themes, profoundly bear its stamp, and cannot be understood if one has not read this very first of my works."

Indeed, Night is Wiesel's masterpiece, a sad, shocking and horrific account of his personal experiences with his father as prisoners in the Auschwitz, Buna, and Buchenwald concentration camps in 1944-1945, towards the end of the Second World War in Europe. Though haunting and appalling in its directness, humanity shines from every page of his book as Wiesel bears witness to the Jews taking solace in caring for one another in the face of atrocities in the Nazi German concentration camps. He was 15 years old then.

Ultimately, Night is a story about death and survival. To quote "Listen to me, kid. Don't forget that you are in a concentration camp. In this place, it is every man for himself, and you cannot think of others. Not even your father. In this place, there is no such thing as father, brother, friend. Each of us lives and dies alone." As prisoners of war, the Jews are subjected to horrific living conditions and the constant threat of death. To survive, they can only do what is best for themselves. Many eventually only concerned themselves with personal survival. Even so, many do not live through the concentration camps, the "selections" and the death marches. Though Wiesel withstood it all and lived to see liberation from Nazi occupation, he carried with him a corpse of memories that haunt him for the rest of his life. To quote "...I decided to look at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. I had not seen myself since the ghetto. From the depths of the mirror, a corpse was contemplating me. The look in his eyes as he gazed at me has never left me."

Night is such a harrowing and engrossing read that before I know it, I have reached the end of the book. Truly, it is a book of great historical importance, albeit one with terrifying power. Night has since been translated into thirty languages and sold millions of copies since its first publication. I am glad to have joined the millions who have read this memoir.

Review: Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan

5 stars for Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan.

This book unfolds like a heartrending drama of a person's descent into madness, but sad to say, it is a true story, a work of non fiction, a blend of both memoir and reportage, of a girl's struggle against losing herself.

The author, Susannah Cahalan, is diagnosed with a rare auto-immune disease called anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis. Put simply, it is a condition caused by the body's antibodies going haywire and attacking normal, healthy brain, leading to brain inflammation. This book is a detailed account of her tumultuous journey, her long and painful road to recovery, from the onset symptoms of headache, insomnia, forgetfulness, numbness, loss of appetite, nausea, confusion, hallucinations and seizure to her hospital admission, brain surgery, diagnosis, treatment and finally rehabilitation. This book is also the result of her attempt to uncover the time lost, to piece together the events which she has no recollection of, and to share those confusing months with the world.

In reading the dark period that Susannah Cahalan has put together, it is petrifying to imagine teetering on the edge of existence between the real world and a murky fictitious one filled with hallucinations, paranoia, seizures, strange thoughts and visions. As if these are not enough, she also suffers from high blood pressure, erratic heart rate, breathing difficulties, psychosis (disconnection from reality which results in strange behavior), catatonia (abnormal state of unresponsiveness, affecting behavioral and motor functions in a person who is apparently awake), language impairment and motor speech impairment (inability to speak properly and express oneself coherently).

As a result of all the horrors that the author has to go through, it is especially touching and heartwarming to see how her family and friends and even her appointed doctors stand by her and fight for her throughout this difficult period in her life. Her recovery process is filled with love and care and unwavering support from her parents and boyfriend. They believe that though Susannah's personality is buried under all those fuzziness, deep down, she is still there, and that things will get better, with time. It is equally heartening to see how she slowly recovers, gains back her health, confidence and sense of self.

All in all, Brain on Fire is a remarkably well written book. The fact that the author is a journalist working for the New York Post, in all likelihood, contributes to her excellent writing and great arrangement of events in chronological order. Though the book is a long account of her illness, including the before and after, author Susannah Cahalan makes it easy to read by breaking down the lengthy narrative of connected events into short manageable chapters.

At the end of the day, what stands out most in the entire story, is not the illness itself, nor what happens before the diagnosis or after, but the realisation of how critical it is to be at the right place, at the right time, without which there can be no comfort to finding the cause to the unpredictable changes in behaviours and symptoms, and getting the correct diagnosis and receiving the appropriate treatment. It is scary to think of the flip side to being at the right place, at the right time which translates to being wrongly diagnosed and wrongly treated - which is as good as being left untreated - and subsequently condemned to a life in a a psychiatric ward. *shudder*

Brain on Fire, a powerful account of one girl's struggle to find back herself, is a riveting story of survival, faith and love. It is a memoir worth every bit of my time - and yours - to read.

Review: What You Become in Flight: A Memoir by Ellen O'Connell Whittet

Did Not Finish What You Become in Flight: A Memoir by Ellen O'Connell Whittet.

This is the story of a dancer turned writer. The transit from dancing to writing is, unfortunately, not one by choice, but of necessity, to rediscover life beyond that of dancing.

The prologue is arrestingly written about the beginning of an end to ballet. Having read the prologue, I am enticed to find out more. But sadly, that is about it. The rest of the book is exhausting to read, simply because it does not match up to - my expectation of - the title.

In relation to the title, I expect a memoir that is about the author and her time as a ballerina, and details leading to the loss of her dream and how she overcome her fear and pain. Instead, the writing is centered on the author's family members and their background. It is a book on life in general at best, with ballet playing but a part in the writer's formation as a person. The element of dance is not as strongly presented as what I hope to find in the book. Whenever the ballet portion does appear, I grasp at it appreciatingly. But it is sparse and just not enough to sustain my interest.

I prefer memoirs where the story is about the narrator. This is not. I decide to throw in the towel at a quarter of the book. Yea, there is always a first, and this is my first did-not-finish memoir.

Review: Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring

5 stars for Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring.

Three weeks ago, I was searching for a particular book on the library shelf. The library system showed that the book was available but I just could not find it. Undeterred, I scanned the whole shelf three times, slowly and carefully. How hard could it be, to find a book that was supposed to be where it was? And yet, it was not. Three times I tried, and three times I came across Life with Pop. Not wanting to leave the library empty-handed, I decided there and then that I might as well try the Pop book. Little did I know that, once again, a great book has found its way to me.

Life with Pop is a deeply moving book about being a caregiver to an aging parent and the invaluable lessons gained. It talks about what it means to do the right thing by our parents, to care for them when their mind and body have been greatly diminished by illness and old age, to cope with their needs, demands, mistrust and even anger at times, and to make healthcare and end-of-life decisions. Presented in diary entry style, the writer, a psychologist and daughter of an aging parent shares her personal experience of taking over the role from her mother - after her mother passed away - for being the main caregiver to her eighty-year-old father.

In the book, the author makes mention of some points which while thought-provoking are also chillingly revealing, about our own selves. The day may come and most surely it will, when the child is certain that her parent cannot manage to live alone anymore, and then, what is to be done? The process of deciding where to place our parents, be it independent-living facility or assisted-living facility, forces us the children to see deep within ourselves and discover who we are. It is no comfortable experience because no matter the decision, we confront not only our father or our mother, we confront ourselves, our deepest values. And in a world where each of us craves for our own personal space and believes our quality of life matters, how does one be there for an aging parent without being consumed by the parent? How does one show love for the parent in caregiving without abandoning oneself? How does one do away with the crippling sense of guilt and self-blame for putting a parent in a home?

The bottom line is that caring for an aging parent is no simple task. It is physically exhausting for the child as much as it is an emotional and mental turmoil. To quote "You invest time and patience only to see them regress and become more helpless and disabled. Your release is paid for with their lives. There is no next chapter." And then, there is the constant struggle to balance between freedom and duty, and loss and guilt. To quote "If Dad dies in the next five years, I don't know how I'll stand it. If he lives for another five years, I don't know how I'll stand it." It is an experience where no one who has not gone through what the other is going through can ever begin to understand.

All in all, this book makes an excellent guide for people who feel overwhelmed by the needs of an elderly parent. It may help to inspire and give the caregiver the much needed spiritual support. Also, the book serves to prepare readers for their own old age and help them become the type of person who will bring out the best in those who care for them.

Finally, I will like to say this book drives home the very fact that "人的一生，就是生老病死的过程". Translated, it means "Life is a cycle of birth, aging, illness and death". There is no escape. Also, being alive and living are not the same. Because the quality of life matters. Ultimately, human kindness, compassion, and listening without passing judgement may help alleviate the pain of suffering from the loss of health and the loss of freedom of movement that comes with old age.

Review: The World I Fell Out Of by Melanie Reid

5 stars for The World I Fell Out Of by Melanie Reid.

This is a beautifully written memoir, honest, soul-baring and deeply moving.

Disability is a sensitive subject. It is a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, activities, or senses. It is something that people generally avoid talking about, much less dwell on. In this sense, I feel that the author is very brave. She pens them down and publishes her experiences together with her innermost thoughts in a book for all to see. Her memoir provides invaluable insights on surviving after a life-changing event.

Author Melanie Reid - a British journalist for The Times' magazine - broke her neck and lower back in April 2010 while horse riding, and is now a tetraplegic. This book is about her life after the fateful day. She tells us what it is like when one faces sudden, extreme disability as an adult, the sense of disconnect and disbelief, the feeling of being helpless and powerless to do anything except to watch and listen, and where the only safe place to survive is inside her head. Author Reid reveals the terrors and challenges of rebuilding life, the day-to-day frustration and humiliations of disabled life, and the bouts of depression that plagues her from time to time. She also talks about the impact of neuropathic pain and why she chooses to endure the discomfort as lifelong companion over replying on some of the drugs for relief. All in all, she shares the journey on how she picks up the pieces and learn baby steps by baby steps to move forward and, slowly but surely, to rediscover joy.

I salute author Melanie Reid. She has my admiration for all that she has faced and endured and admitted in her book. There is much courage in revealing what she has gone through, details of her injury, her vulnerabilities, her difficulties, and that of a lucid mind trapped within a motionless body trying to find a new meaning to self-worth. Reading her book makes me very conscious of all the movement I can make, the mobility I am blessed with, the daily walking and running I do with my legs on muscle memory. It makes me grateful for all that I have - a healthy working body.

The World I Fell Out of is not a miracle story. It literally means that. From in the world to out of the world, from the upper world to the lower world, from active to passive, from doer to observer, from able-bodied to disabled. Author Reid sends the message that not everyone with a spinal injury, with enough hard work, will recover some function. Some will not. That is a reality. And so, it is comforting to know that towards the end of her book, she makes mention of being more at peace physically.

Though not a miracle story, this book will still make the reader laugh and cry all the same. Indeed, it is a sad story with the topic leaning heavily on coming to terms with reality. But the delivery of the subject on spinal cord injury is a real eye-opener, and the courage, determination and will to live makes for an exceptionally inspiring true story. I hope there will come a day when this memoir gets translated to other languages including Chinese. It will be a great book for my mother, to see how blessed her life is, how fortunate she has been; a reminder for her to appreciate what she has while she still has it, and be clued up on what really matters in life.

Review: An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir by Ariel Leve

4 stars for An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir by Ariel Leve.

Reading this book feels like reading a book of revelations. It is a shout-out to the world, to seek understanding both within and without, for the way the author is wired. Certainly, author Ariel Leve has a most unusual childhood, unusual being the understatement. It is hard to fathom how she survives the years to adulthood the way she has had.

This memoir also makes me think about my relationship with my own mother. I see parallels in the behaviour of my mother and that of the author's. They cannot help themselves. Or can they? I can only tell myself that we don't get to choose our parents and parents don't get to choose their children. But we do get to choose how hard we are willing to work to make the best of what we are given.

This book reminds us that a house is not a home. And a family is not everything, mettā (loving-kindness) is. Sometimes, most times, to be happy is to be simple and content. And peace will follow naturally.

Review: Places I Stopped on the Way Home: A Memoir of Chaos and Grace by Meg Fee

3 stars for Places I Stopped on the Way Home: A Memoir of Chaos and Grace by Meg Fee.

I am not sure what to make of this memoir. It is a book I enjoy reading but do not enjoy in it. Call me anything but shallow, I feel that the author should have loved herself more, treat herself with more kindness and respect. She deserves better. But then, these are all in the past. And so, it is good to know that she knows to keep going.

This book is a collection of essays that covers ten years of the author's living in New York, from when she was accepted to Juilliard at the age of eighteen. It is a brutally honest storytelling, sad and bittersweet yet flowing with youthful enthusiasm and hope. It records the author's attempt to find happiness and meaning in life. Her constant search for answers reveals a life laced with more pessimism than not, more sadness than happiness, more grief than joy, more fear than security, more chaos than balance, more questions than answers. Basically, the perspectives project a depressing life filled with heartaches and dripping with loneliness.

I have never felt more alive reading a memoir about friendship and love, heartbreak and loneliness, fear and insecurity, and failure and suffering, all in the promise of a yet to be. Sad as it is, however, there are times I cannot understand why the author chooses to subject herself to such misery. It is good that the author faces up to it eventually and learns to self-love.

This book is a reminder to self-love, to live in the present, to live life to the fullest no matter where we are and to treasure what we have. Home is not a place. Home is where the heart is.

Review: Slow: Live Life Simply by Brooke McAlary

3 stars for Slow: Live Life Simply by Brooke McAlary.

January's been a busy month with lots of changes and adjustments. I don't remember ever posting just one book review in an entire month. It feels just so... not me. Where has all my time gone to? Deep down, actually, I do know the answer. I have made the deliberate decision to slow down, to exercise more, to rest more and to not stay up late into the night to read.

That brings me to this book. I read it because I like the laid-back title. I do admit, the thickness of this hardcover book put me off initially, but eventually, I decide to borrow it from the library and lug it all the way home.

All things considered, this is not bad a book on self-help except for the sheer volume. I enjoy reading the part where the author talks about mindfulness and her version of a slow life, which in her mind's eye is that of a cabin in the woods. I believe each of us has our own version of the cabin in the woods. It may be a house by the beach, or the beach itself, or a tree or a river or even a hilltop. It is a place where we want to seek refuge in when the hustle and bustle of life seems too much for us to bear.

Truth be told, in this Year of Less, not only am I taking action to drop things out slowly until I am left with only what I deem necessary, I am also looking forward to my version of a cabin in the woods, to slow down and to live life simply. To that end, this book is a good introduction to why a slower life is a more contented one and how we can go about achieving it.

I agree with the author that there is no perfect way to live life simply, only the recognition of what to rid of slowly but surely until one is left with what is necessary and with what makes one happy. I also agree with the way the author describes slow living. So, I will end this review off with a passage - that I really like - taken verbatim from the book.

"Slow living is a curious mix of being prepared and being prepared to let go. Caring more and caring less. Saying yes and saying no. Being present and walking away. Doing the important things and forgetting those that aren't. Grounded and free. Heavy and light. Organised and flexible. Complex and simple."

Review: The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave Away My Belongings, and Discovered Life is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy in a Store by Cait Flanders

5 stars for The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave Away My Belongings, and Discovered Life is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy in a Store by Cait Flanders.

I chanced upon this book last October during one of my weekly visits to the library. I am not sure what to make of this self-help memoir at that time but I decided there and then to procrastinate in reading and make it my first review of the new year instead. Looking back, the choice to make this book my first read of Year 2020 turns out to be a life-changing decision.

The Year of Less is practical, sensible and very real. It is packed full of lessons for all of us on finding meaning in our lives. The author is a former binge consumer turned mindful consumer of everything. She shares in her book how she rid of excess things and live life based on experiences rather than worldly possessions, how she practices living intentionally with a goal in mind and be a more mindful consumer, and how she embraces minimalism and learns to live with less.

Suffice to say, this author is proof enough that "where there's a will, there's a way". If we are willing to let go of the things we think we need, if we are willing to walk away ready to change our life, we can have a life we really want. Ultimately, it boils down to changing habits and routines; changing the fixed way of doing things that we have unconsciously spent years perfecting.

I think I have never made a better choice by appointing this book my first book (review) of the year. It certainly paves the way for a great start. The author's personal stories motivate me to stop shopping, simplify, declutter and focus on things that are important to me. She has also inspired me to be braver in my life, to let go of the things I thought I need and get out of my comfort zone to pursue a life I really want.

I foresee Year 2020 to be a year of Less. My year of less, but also a year of more. Because less is more. Less quantity, more quality. I have finally plucked up the courage to turn the life I truly want into reality. With changes come uncertainties - that is for sure - but I also know that whenever we let go of something negative in our lives, we make room for something positive. I am excited and looking forward to saying goodbye to negative vibes, lost money, lost dreams and lost opportunities, Year 2020 shall be the beginning of my saved money, saved dreams and saved opportunities.

If you want changes but have been afraid, be it of uncertainties or failure, then this book is a must-read. You will be inspired to take steps towards a better future for yourself and the people that matter to you.

Review: Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter by Shoko Tendo

4 stars for Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter by Shoko Tendo.

I am blessed to be gifted a copy of this book in July 2017. I have finally read it. Two years late. But better late than never.

Seriously, this book is not what I will have expected, even though I did not really hold any expectations prior to reading it. Still, I do not expect it to be such a heart-rending story, a true life story that is filled with bullying, delinquency, drugs, imprisonment, love, violence, marriage, divorce, debt, eating disorders, attempted suicide, sickness, and death.

Though this is a memoir by a Yakuza's daughter, bulk of the story centers on herself and her downward spiral to drug abuse rather than that of her family and especially her father, the Yakuza. Yes, this book is a very brave end product of the baring of truths, of a life lived in the pit of despair and misery, but I will gladly welcome more shedding of light about the life and inner workings of a Yakuza.

Wisdom comes with knowledge.
Knowledge comes with experience.
Experience comes with age.
Age comes with time.

With knowledge, experience and time, I hope that Shoko Tendo is finally living her life the way she wants it and is now at peace with herself and her family.

Review: My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir by Mark Lukach

4 stars for My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir by Mark Lukach.

This is a difficult book to read; not because it is boring or badly written, but because it is a blatantly honest outpour of a husband's innermost thoughts and beliefs and actions that do not sit well with me.

The husband thinks that there is a pill that can and will fix all mental problems. I know it must have been terrible to feel helpless and clueless but it is frustrating and traumatizing to see the husband sending his wife to the hospital and Psych Ward time and again, to be pinned down by orderlies to have medication injected into her body.

It is also equally disturbing to read about the mental health system as described in the book as it goes about its way of admitting and treating patients. It seems like a whole load of self-serving, profit driven structure where doctors dish out drugs too readily and think that they are above all, that their decisions are the best, when in fact, I don't see them putting the patients' interests at heart at all.

Overall, what I see mostly is a controlling husband who does not know how to give space, who suffocates the wife with well-intentioned but ill-managed care, who does not trust the wife to make her own choices and decisions, who tries to control and run the wife's life, and on top of it all, who believes medication and pills are the solution to anxiety, stress and depression.

The above said, at the end of the day, who am I to criticize the husband's beliefs and actions? It is after all his life to live and none of my business. Still, I am glad to have read this book, expressed my view and said my piece.

Review: Do No Harm: Stories of Life, Death and Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh

5 stars for Do No Harm: Stories of Life, Death and Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh.

Henry Marsh is leading English neurosurgeon. He retires from full-time practice in 2015. Do No Harm is a brutally honest account of his life's work, his 40-year career as a brain surgeon.

As with any human, neurosurgeon Marsh makes his share of mistakes in his life. The stories in this book are about his attempts, and occasional failures, to find a balance between the necessary detachment and compassion that a surgical career requires, a balance between hope and realism.

Having read this memoir, I understand better the difficulties that doctors face. But I also view doctors in a different light now.

Review: Admissions: A Life in Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh

4 stars for Admissions: A Life in Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh.

I come to know of this book by chance. The title somehow grabs my attention and I know I must read the book.

This book is about medicine and neurosurgery, more than that, it is about life as a neurosurgeon.

Here, author Marsh reveals much of his inner thoughts and feelings:

• Why he is always a little anxious when waiting to operate and when operating, and why he has to affect a complete calm and confidence, something which he does not inwardly feel

• Why it is important for surgeons to radiate self confidence

• Why surgeons feel easily threatened by their own colleagues

• Why surgeons often disparage their colleagues and even give evidence against one another as expert witnesses.

• Why surgeons carry cemeteries within themselves

• Why medical decisions - whether to treat, how much to investigate - are often not clear-cut.

• Why health care costs are getting more and more expensive, running out of control.

• Why patients or their families have wholly unrealistic expectations of what medicine can achieve, and take it very ill if things go badly.

• Why doctors have to supress their natural empathy, to not learn but unlearn empathy.

• Why it is so remarkably difficult as a doctor to find the correct balance between compassion and detachment

• Why an awake craniotomy is recommended to remove tumour in the brain rather than with the patient asleep under a general anaesthetic, and how it is done

Food for thought.. what is the role of the doctor?

The role of the doctor is not just to save life at any cost, but also to reduce suffering.

If surgeons operate on everybody, without any regard to the probable outcome, they will create terrible suffering for some of the patients and even more so for their families.